If men were as sexualised as women

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If men were as sexualized as women, the only shorts available for them in shops would also be short shorts, cut to let buttcheeks hang out instead of covering them up. Anything knee-length or three-quarter length would be skin-tight. If men were as sexualized as women, they would not feel ‘sexy’ enough to go out in public unless their penis and ball sack were bulging to a degree dictated by the media’s current favourite celebrity. If their man bumps weren’t big enough, there would be plenty of underpants designed with padding to emphasis and enhance their assets. If this underwear was uncomfortable and even suspected of being responsible for causing scrotal cysts, men would just put up with it because they know that they are only valuable if their crotch bulges enough. That is, if they were as sexualized as women.

Trousers would be clinging to their bodies too, displaying every quiver of their butts and thighs as they walked around. T-shirts would be, that’s right, form-revealing, probably cropped to show off their belly button. The only shirts available in shops would button to half-way up their chest. If a man did not want his pecs exposed, he would have to invest in string vests that would coordinate with his shirts and that he could wear underneath. Of course, not one single hair should be seen peeking out of the neck of the shirt or on his exposed belly. If a man did not remove every hair from his chest, back, arms and legs, he would be labeled as a gay hippie. No woman would want to touch body hair. If men were as sexualized as women.

When he went jogging, he could wear either leggings or hot pants. Instead of looking at how much effort he was making or if he had a fluid running style, women would look at how his scrotum bounced with each step. Instead of a photograph of Nadal holding his latest tennis trophy, papers would show pictures of when his t-shirt slipped up as he reached for a high shot. If men were as sexualized as women.

A man’s achievements would be irrelevant. His ideas, his hopes, his interests would always be secondary to his appearance, the size of his penis, his pecs, his posterior, his scrotum. How much hair gel he wore every day. How good he was a sculpting his beard. The proportionality evident in the distribution of his facial features.

If men were as sexualized as women.

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