Wax on, wax off

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O. M. G.  It is sooo totally waxing that I hate the most about my job. I did beauty therapy because I wanted to play with make-up all day, but I got landed with doing ALL the waxing in this place. It is, like, totes ridic at this stage, roight? I’ve asked Candide when I will be able to do facials, or at least spray tans, but she still has me doing waxes.

The bikini ones are the worst. It never, like, occurred to me that I would basically see more vaginas in a day than, like, Tiger Woods. But at least I know I’m defo not a lesbo. Some of them look so, like, weird, with big lips or strange colours or out of shape. Not what you see on porn videos at all. But then you’re basically pulling out people’s pubes all day long. Some people aren’t so bad, if they are regular waxers. But the people that decide to try it out or want to put on a swimsuit after the winter? Like, OMG, sometimes it’s a total forest. How can men put their faces in there?  And some of the women are so old, like, in their forties, maybe. Why do they even bother? Who would even want to look at them there at that age?

And then, roight, you have the fat people. Not only do they expect you to remove their pubes for them, but they expect you to hold back their flab while you’re doing it. And again, why bother, like? I’m surprised the hair doesn’t rub off while they’re walking with all that friction.

Even the men are, like, totally revolting. They come in with hair all over their back and their shoulders and think you are going to still, like, find them attractive? And they are such wimps about it. All I can say is thank God they don’t want bikini waxes.

I was soooo pissed off last week, right? This totes fit guy came in for a chest wax. I swear, he looked like Daniel Craig. And he was built. Obviously, like, a total gym bunny. I was deloighted to see him, but Candide grabbed him before I could get started and totally took over. She even sent me out to get coffees for everyone and when I got back, he was gone! Like, how unfair was that???

But my friend Ashlie says that’s how it is the first year in a salon. As soon as the next person gets hired, I’ll get moved up to the nice work, like manicures and massages. Then it will be no more bikini waxes for me! 🙂

 

Inspired by Daily Prompt.

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